Twin Peaks Usenet Archive

Subject: Re: facts to date
From: (Rich Rosen)
Date: 1990-04-21, 11:57

> > MEMO TO:  FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper
> > RE:  Twin Peaks case to date
> > 
> > Here are the developemnts to date in the "Twin Peaks" case.  I have
> > placed them in relational database format, as usual.  I would have done
> > more, but Albert has been a pain.  You know how that is.  Mail me a
> > cassette with your comments, and I will include them in my next update. 
> > Sorry about the typos....  How was the coffee at the Great Northern? 
> > You never mentioned it.

Diane, this is great!  I have developed a rigorous, complex and unduly nested
SQL query to determine from these facts who the murderer actually is.  It takes
into account every finite detail available and determines exactly what is going
on.  I have processed the answer set to this query and have narrowed down the
suspects and I can come to only one inevitable conclusion, that being, that
the murderer is...

Richard Kimball

You see, he was lying all along, there never really was a one-armed man at his
house that night his wife was killed...

The only problem is, how are we going to get the late David Janssen (was he a
Norwegian?) to play the part of the murderer?

Oh yes, by the way, it was DAMN good coffee.
"I don't think what we're doing is wrong."		"Why not?"
		Rich Rosen