Subject: Re: Killer Bob Ain't What He Seems
From: horny@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (Michael Kaye)
Date: 1990-10-09, 03:16
Newsgroups: alt.tv.twin-peaks

In article <26178@megaron.cs.arizona.edu> gln@cs.arizona.edu (Gary Newell) writes:
> >In article <7636@darkstar.ucsc.edu>, horny@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (Michael Kaye) writes:
>> >> Don't reinterpret every new piece of evidence to insist that it proves
>> >> this conclusion, when it does not.  This is not well thought out.
> >
>> >> Other things about owls and BOB that aren't what they seem include that
>> >> BOB appears as simply human in coops vision, but he is not.  There's 
>> >> more to him, perhaps he's a demon, vampire, spirit, whatever.
>> >> His powers *might* include invisibility, mind control, 
>> >> mind reading, jumping through portals that take him to and from strange 
> >
> >Geezuz - take your own advice will ya? Maybe he's f*ckin Santa Claus too huh?
> >My God - a few dreams/visions of a figure and suddenly he's the damn tooth
> >fairy...... there hasn't been one piece of 'serious' evidence that there
> >are super-natural beings in this show - only dreams, hallucinations and 
> >visions - how does this add up to mystical boogie men?????
> >gln

Yeah!  Tell him!  HAhA!

Your Santa Claus theory is correct!  I've seen the light!  So help me BOB!
Sarah Palmer, Madeline, Laura and even Leland all have had visions
of BOB because they were victimized by Santa Claus as children,
forced to chant horribly tacky rhymes and pray to fat bearded men.

You know that vision of Ronette's where BOB is violently thrusting
up and down?  IT ISN'T WHAT IT SEEMS!! BOB actually is stuffing
Ronette's stocking, which was a little tight for his large knockwurst
sausage.  Why is BOB so terrifying?  HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN NAUGHTY
OR NICE.  Think about it!!  In the diary BOB admits to knowing all, seeing
all!  Laura strives to reform, but she cannot, so well BOB (santa claus)
has no choice but to teach her a lesson.  Laura's obsessive behaivior
leads her to take inordinate amounts of cocaine BECAUSE IT REMINDS
HER OF THE SNOW ASSOCIATED WITH HER BELOVED (and yet dreaded) SANTA CLAUS.
Laura takes sadistic pleasure in taking secret trips to the woods
to hunt deer and eat venison, and even sneaks off to NRA meetings.

I don't know where you got that tooth fairy idea though.
You know, you are really out there sometimes.

Michael Kaye    horny@ucscb.ucsc.edu