Subject: "The 12 Days of X-Mas" a la "^Twin Peaks^"--Complete Text
From: 6600koga@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu (Jeffrey Koga)
Date: 1991-02-02, 14:45
Newsgroups: alt.tv.twin-peaks

I know, I know, you're all asking, "Why are you
posting this--it's FEBRUARY!!!"  Reasons: I've only
been doing E-mail for about a month now, and I
only received this recording from a friend about two
or three weeks ago (I'm tremendously lazy).  Anyway,
I'm sure you'll enjoy it nevertheless.  Comments
and/or questions would be appreciated.  On with the
show!!!  Oh, by the way, why are there 12 days of
Christmas anyway?


"THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS", "^TWIN PEAKS^" STYLE

Featuring (in order of appearance):
  Jack Nance (Pete Martell)
  Dana Ashbrook (Bobby Briggs)
  Frank Silva (BOB)
  Kyle MacLaughlin (FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper)
  Kimmy Robertson (Lucy Moran)

Lyrics:

  Pete: "On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love
         gave to me: A body, DEAD, wrapped in
         plastic."

  Bobby: "On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love
          gave to me: Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plasic."

  BOB: "On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love
        gave to me: THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Cooper: "Diane, on the 4th day of Christmas, my
           true love gave to me: Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Lucy: "On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love
         gave to me: Five jelly donuts!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  BOB: "On the 6th day of Christmas..."
  Pete: "...my sweetheart gave to me: Six fish in a
         percolator."
  Lucy: "Five jelly donuts!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Bobby: "On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love
          gave to me: Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy (or someone, in an operatic singing voice):
        "Five jelly donuts!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" 
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Cooper: "Diane, on the 8th day of Christmas, I had
           a strange dream: Eight dancing midgets."
  Bobby: "Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy: "Five, uh!  F-five jelly donuts!  Sorry,
         oops!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  BOB: "On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love
        gave to me: NINE OWLS LURKING!"
  Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets."
  Bobby: "Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy (sounding really p.o.'ed):
        "FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Bobby: "On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love
          gave to me: Ten drooling Leos."
  BOB: "NINE OWLS LURKING!"
  Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets."
  Bobby: "Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy (sounding really p.o.'ed):
        "FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Lucy: "On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love
         gave to me: Eleven cherry pies."
  Bobby: "Ten drooling Leos."
  BOB: "NINE OWLS LURKING!"
  Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets."
  Bobby: "Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy: "Five jelly donuts!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Pete (in a rousing voice):
        "On the 12th day of Christmas, my sweetheart
         gave to me: Twelve cups of coffee."
  Lucy: "Eleven cherry pies."
  Bobby: "Ten drooling Leos."
  BOB: "NINE OWLS LURKING!"
  Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets."
  Bobby: "Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy: "Five dozen donuts.  What?!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS."
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."
--
Jeff "Koganuts" Koga   1) "The 'Star Wars' Trilogy" by John Williams
Internet: 6600koga@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu  2) "^TP^" by Angelo Baladamenti 
Bitnet: 6600koga@ucsbuxa.bitnet      3)  "STII:TWoK" by James Horner
Recommended CDs:        4) "Bugs Bunny on Broadway" by Carl Stalling