Subject: ABC the wonder network that works wonders
From: SML108@psuvm.psu.edu (Scott the Great)
Date: 1991-02-16, 22:24
Newsgroups: alt.tv.twin-peaks

1980:  Soap is canned with a wild cliffhanger ending...

1982:  The Greatest American Hero is moved to Friday night against Dallas
       and is canned after 6 episodes in that timeslot...

1987:  After a moderately successful opening run, Max Headroom is moved
       to Friday night against Dallas and Miami Vice and also dies after
       5 episodes...

1991, Feb 16:  Is anyone really surprised?

  I liked all of the aforementioned shows.  In fact, most of the shows I've
liked on the networks have come from ABC.  They have also canned them merci-
lessly.  Why do they bother?
  I ought to add that both Max Headroom and The Greatest American Hero
had unaired episodes when they were canned, and both returned briefly when
ABC was desperate.  Oddly enough, both were put against Magnum PI when
they did, which was another show killer like Dallas.

I think ABC has some very creative people on its programming staff, but
whoever or whatever is in charge of scheduling is an UTTER MORON...

Oh well, they didn't bring Starman back (not that I liked it), and it had
a relatively huge following so be sure to be really rude when you write to ABC
so you at least manage to offend someone... :-)

Here's a possible sample letter....

Dear ABC morons,
  You suck, BIFF says TWIN PEEKS IZ OSSUM!  Bring it back now or WILL NEVER
know what HAPPEND TO JOE-Z!  By the way, the NEXT BOZO who kills off David
Warner or gives him a bite PART DIEZ!  He is MY FAVURRIT ACTER!  Why KANT
he PLAE WINDUMB?

MINE TRULY,
WINDOM BIFF


Ah well, it was fun while it lasted...  I guess there will be another really
neat show in about 3 years.  Until then, I'll have to settle for STTNG
and Gulf War updates...

Scott Le Grand