Subject: Notes to Letter Writers
From: tneff@bfmny0.BFM.COM (Tom Neff)
Date: 1991-02-17, 19:54
Newsgroups: alt.tv.twin-peaks

It's great that we're all writing to ABC, but let me make a couple of
suggestions.

 * DON'T do some kind of form letter!!  Whoever uploaded his letter (in
TeX, yet -- why not a bitmap?? :-( ) with the recommendation to "copy
the text in the middle into your own letter" or words to that effect,
was doing a disservice.  USE YOUR OWN WORDS -- tell them what you really
think.  They know how to tell the difference, and it will MAKE a
difference.

 * DON'T use any kind of electronic delivery service, however tempting
that seems.  Type or laser-print the letter yourself, stamp it and mail
it.  Networks get computerized crap all the time, and they throw it out.

 * DON'T THREATEN THEM, you idiots!!  Don't take the name FOX in vain.
Fox doesn't want it anyway, and ABC wouldn't let them have it if they
did.  Ratings that embarrass ABC look good on Fox, and that's bad.
And don't threaten to boycott ABC.  These people care about their jobs;
don't tempt them to tell you to go **** yourself.

 * KEEP IT SHORT and to the point.  Say exactly what you mean, in as few
words as possible.  Try to imagine some overworked ABC secretary opening
your letter and reading it.  What would it take to make him or her put
it in the very short "show Bob's assistant" stack?  Three pages of
hysterical dot-matrix ravings ain't the answer.

 * Say who you are and what you do, in one sentence.  They are genuinely
interested in the demographics of people who care enough to write.  It's
something their tracking surveys and focus groups can't measure.

 * MENTION YOU TAPE THE SHOW AND WATCH IT LATER if you do!  Nielsen
can't handle this phenomenon properly.  Nobody tapes DOOGIE HOWSER.

 * ASK FOR A WEEKNIGHT SLOT (unless you disagree for some reason).
Saturday night killed STAR TREK and it's trying to kill TWIN PEAKS.
Things could only improve on a weeknight.

That's it -- do get out there and write!  Try to write effectively.