Subject: STORY: TWIN PEAKS - Passion Play - Chapter 2 From: cfoster@eagle.wesleyan.edu Date: 1991-07-01, 14:59 Newsgroups: alt.tv.twin-peaks First off, thanks to those who sent all the positive comments on Chapter One. Please, feel free to send any comments, criticism (or praise). Secondly, as it was for the first chapter, this story has (or will have) SPOILERS for those who haven't either a) read the Twin Peaks Access Guide, or b) seen the second season finale. If anyone asks for it, I'll repost the first chapter for those who haven't read it yet. Enjoy... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ^ Twin Peaks ^ ^ Passion Play ^ Chapter II Andy was pretty sure that the deer's head could support one more string of garland. As he stood atop the small wooden stepladder, holding a short length of twine in one hand and the end of the shining decoration in the other, he looked at the five strings radiating from the deer's antlers and tried to remember how much he had used decorating the conference room last Christmas. Andy remembered that night fondly; Lucy and he had brought little Josie along with them, and everyone kept congratulating them on what a beautiful baby she was. They both felt really proud that night, and they made love three times when they got home. And it was probably six strings of garland, not five. Andy placed the last string against a free space on the left antler (making it symmetrical) and began wrapping the short length of twine around it and the antler. The metal hook supporting the dear creaked. "Off-i-cer BRENNAN?!" Oh, no. "Hello, Poopsie." Andy turned to face the doorway, trying to keep his hands on his work. Lucy stood in the doorway, lips slightly parted, showing clenched teeth; rolled-up sheets of graph paper were crumpling in her hand. Andy tried to pitch his voice to sound even more innocent than it normally did. "I was just putting up the garland and stuff for the party for Agent Cooper." Lucy didn't react; she just kept looking back and forth, at him and the table. Andy looked at it, covered with boxes overflowing with party hats, glass ornaments, hand-carved nativity sets, a Thanksgiving centerpiece, a menorah and a cardboard and styrofoam Easter Bunny. He gulped. "Is something wrong?" Lucy took a deep breath before speaking. Andy tensed, as if expecting to be hit. "How--can--I--set--up--my--doughnuts--for--the--party, if you have all this STUFF on the TABLE!" Andy took the untied garland with him as he climbed down the stepladder. "But honey, I needed to look through all the boxes to find the garland to put up on the ceiling, and since they're all stacked up in the back of the closet..." Lucy charged past him. "It's IN MY WAY." She began hoisting boxes off the table, dropping them before they touched the ground; a few of the glass ornaments could be heard shattering. "Lucy, I've got all the garland out, I can pack that stuff up and put it back." "Don't bother. I'll do it." The menorah clanged as it bounced off the ground, knocking three candles out of their holders. Andy stepped towards her, not approaching too closely, and being careful not to entangle her in the loose garland stretching from the opposite wall to his hand. He stopped, and looked at his feet. "You're mad at me. I can tell." Lucy put down the Easter Bunny, saving it from decapitation on the edge of the blackboard. "Yes I am, Off-i-cer BRENNAN. And do you know why I'm mad at you?" Andy felt ever more dejected. "No." She turned to face him, clenching a swaddled-Jesus figure carved from Ponderosa Pine in one hand. Her words came out slowly, spaced apart from one another like bullets shooting from a machine-gun in slow-motion; she shook the figure for emphasis. "She started crying at three in the morning last night, and while YOU didn't wake up, I got out of bed, PUT on my robe, went INTO the NURSERY, PICKED UP Josie, brought her INTO the kitchen, HEATED up SOME MILK, and FED her. And THEN do you know what happened?" Andy didn't look up; he was near tears. "No." "She THREW UP!" Andy took the babe from her hand, and looked at it with awe. "Josie throws up a _lot._" "Of course she does, she's--a--BABY." She had spent most of her anger; her tone was more patronizing than upset. She took the figure back, and spoke while looking at it, sounding sadder. "And I had to clean her up and change her by myself, and hold her until she stopped crying so I could put her back to sleep. I was up for over an hour." Andy hugged her, rubbing her back up and down with his arms, still holding the garland. "Lucy, I'm sorry I didn't help you. I didn't know, I was asleep." He turned her face up to look at him. "Why didn't you wake me up?" She stamped away from him. "I did! I always try to wake you to take care of the baby, but you DON'T." Andy dropped his gaze back down to his feet. "I'm sorry, Lucy. I guess I'm just a heavy sleeper." Lucy turned back to the table, moving boxes without causing them undue harm. Andy stepped closer, raising the garland and swinging over her head and out of her way. He spoke softly. "Besides, didn't we decide that I would keep my job at the sheriff's department, and you stay home and take care of the baby?" Lucy stopped, just as she had picked up a oak-tag cutout of a tall, lanky Pilgrim. Muscles stretching in her back, she gave the Pilgrim's neck a slow twist; Andy cringed at the sound of the decoration tearing. She tossed both pieces into a box, and swept it and the remaining decorations off the table. She turned to Andy, her voice dangerously calm. "The table is CLEAR now, so I am going to SET up the DOUGHNUTS, and then I'm taking MY daughter HOME. Good day, Off-i-cer BRENNAN!!" She charged out the door, but came back, stood before Andy and ripped the garland from his hand. She then left amid a cloud of floating silver shreds. Andy stood, staring at his hand for a few moments. Then, slowly, he wiped a tear from his eye. He sniffed, bent down to pick up a box and the Easter Bunny, and left the room, narrowly avoiding being crushed by Lucy's doughnut cart as she practically threw it through the doorway. Out in the hall, Andy had to concentrate very hard to keep from breaking down there and then, sniffing to keep his sinuses from dripping, and rubbing his eyes against one of the bunny's ears to catch the few tears that leaked out. But then he saw Dick walk in the front door wearing the latest in Horne's Mens' Fashions (orange sweater, pine green courduroy slacks), and he quickly straightened. He remembered what Hawk had told him at his bachelor party: "Show no fear, and no matter what may happen, you cannot be beaten." Andy stood straight, held his boxes proudly, and took firm strides towards Dick, who was leaning on the edge of the secretary's window, giving his casually charming greetings to the temporary worker sitting there. Dick looked up, and rose when he saw Andy approach. His face stretched into a wide smile. "Ah, Andrew my fine fellow, you are just the man I was looking for." Andy strained to be polite, envisioning handcuffing Dick the the back of the Sheriff's jeep and driving him to Seattle; he smiled. "Hello, Richard. How can I be of aid to you?" "I'm afraid, my lad, that you cannot." His smile abruptly changed into a slight frown, and his eyebrows dropped from the middle of his forehead to just above his eyes. "I'm afraid that I have some bad news for you." Andy covered his mouth, nearly dropping the decorations. "What is it?" "I know that you were especially fond of David Pierre, the man who designed the window displays at Horne's." "You mean the man who dresses up as Santa on Christmas for all the little children?" "I'm afraid that's the one. You see, Andrew..." He wiped one small tear from his eye. "I'm afraid that an accident has occurred." Andy's eyes widened. "What happened?" "Well... he was stringing up a giant tennis racket for our 'Sports in Spring' promotional display, when one of the high-tension steel cables snapped and... it was horrible!" Dick bent over, crying; Andy felt tears forming in his eyes as well. Suddenly, Dick had grabbed Andy's shoulder, pulling him close. "And Andrew, as I was there with him at the time of the accident, he entrusted me with something." Andy's eyes widened, and he wiped them to see clearly. "He did?" "Yes, dear lad. Before they took him away on the ambulance, he told me that he had one last message that he wanted me to give to you." "What was it?" "I'm afraid that it's a secret." Dick motioned for Andy to move closer; Andy put down the box and the bunny and put his ear next to Dick's mouth. Dick cupped his hands around his mouth, so no one else could hear. "He said..." Andy trembled with a mixture of fear and excitement. "What did he say?" Dick moved even closer, whispering. "He said... April Fool, Andrew." Andy stood up, confused. Dick giggled through shut lips. Andy's brow furrowed. "April Fool? I don't get it." But by then, Dick had shifted from a stifled giggle into full rollicking laughter, and he had a hard time keeping from falling down and rolling on the floor. Instead, he started staggering around, pretending he had an enormous belly and mixing his pseudo-English accent with an imitation of David Pierre's French-Canadian dialect. "Ho ho ho, April Fool, eh Andrew? Hee hee hee!" Andy kept his fists at his sides, every muscle in his arms tense. He picked up the decorations quickly, and stood, shaking, as Dick nearly asphyxiated from his constant laughter. Dick soon caught his breath, and stood calmly. Then he looked up at Andy and was laughing again. Just before Andy was ready to jump Dick, Hawk appeared from behind both of them, holding a used diaper pinched between two fingers. He put his free arm on Andy's shoulder to calm him, then let him go. He approached Dick. "You." Dick stopped laughing, caught his breath and looked up at him. "Yes?" he giggled. Hawk pointed at him with free hand. "Get out." He grabbed the collars of Dick's sweater and undershirt, and pulled them away from his neck. With his other hand, he shoved the diaper down them. Then he pointed at the door. "Now." Dick stood straight, gingerly unlatched his clothing from Hawk's hand, and nervously straightened his ensemble. He nodded slightly. "Gentlemen. Madame." He turned and left, quietly. Hawk went to comfort Andy, but he was already gone. --- In the storage room, Andy dropped the decorations in the closet, and paced back and forth in front of it, clenching and unclenching his fists. Then, he stood in front of the closet, staring at the Easter Bunny sitting atop a pile of cardboard boxes. He pulled back, and with one punch knocked the bunny's head off its neck; it bounced off the back wall of the closet and fell onto the floor at Andy's feet. Andy stood and stared at it, then picked it up and stuck it crookedly back on its neck. He looked at it, then turned away. "Sorry." He closed the door. --- Hawk turned off the water, took a paper towel and dried his hands on his way out of the men's room. Once in the Deputy's office, he threw away the towel and sat down behind his desk, carved whole from one enormous log of Douglas Fir. He had barely leaned back and put his feet up on its side (where the unfinished stump of a branch limb held them comfortably) when he caught sight of the clock: 11:14 A.M., time for coffee. He got up, grabbed a stack of folders and his mug from the desk and headed for the coffee station. Once there, he shifted the folders to under his arm to be able to carry the coffeepot, which he took into Harry's office, where Harry sat hunched over paperwork, his empty mug held outstretched for Hawk to fill. Hawk frowned, concerned to see his friend yet again in his present state. At the noise and aroma of coffee being poured, Harry looked up, half-dazed, from his work; first at Hawk, then at his arm. "It must be eleven-fifteen. I didn't even realize I had picked up my mug." "No problem." Hawk topped off Harry's mug, then sat to fill his own. He put the coffeepot on the floor and handed Harry the folders he had brought. "Here's the local crime statistics for last month." "Thanks." Harry inserted them into the sprawl of papers on his desk. He took a long sip of coffee from his mug; Hawk could see him relax slightly as he drank, and he knew this was one of the few times that he did. Harry looked up, a weak smile rising under his haggard eyes. "Not that I mind, but why do you bring me coffee every day at eleven-fifteen?" Hawk put on his best "Native-American" voice. "'Through rituals and ceremonies, one's sanity can be maintained in an insane world.'" He allowed a short dramatic pause before continuing. "I read it in one of Diane's psychology books. I used to help her study for exams." Harry looked down at his desk, at the statistics and charts clenched in his other hand. "Insane. Yeah, that's about it." He put down the mug. "Hawk, I don't think I'll want a refill." Hawk picked up the pot, and awkwardly got out of his chair. "Alright, Harry. I'll see you at the party." He got out of the room, turning at the door to see Harry already resuming his work. He shut the door behind him. ^ End of Part Two ^ --------------------------------------------------------------------------- More stuff later. Chris --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christopher J. Foster cfoster@eagle.wesleyan.edu or cfoster@wesleyan.bitnet "Changing _Star_Trek_ into just another action series would be like using a sword as a butter knife." - Me ---------------------------------------------------------------------------