Subject: Gracious dining in Twin Peaks From: ceblair@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Charles Blair) Date: 1991-07-14, 13:56 Newsgroups: alt.tv.twin-peaks [Twin Peaks has been in the news lately, and we thought our readers might be interested in advice about where to eat after a busy day touring crime sites. The proprietor of one Twin Peaks establishment made it clear that your reporter was unwelcome, which is not surprising, considering the evaluation we had previously made. This article was prepared with the assistance of a prominent Twin Peaks attorney, who has international experience of gourmet dining. --- MTW] The customers at the R & R diner are as colorful as ever. In our previous report we forgot to mention one who always carries around a small log, occasionally inviting others to talk to it. She usually sits in the second booth from the door. If she is not around and you find yourself seated there, watch out for wood ticks. There have been some turnovers in the staff. The waiter is gone, due to parole violations. A former waitress has returned now that her husband (another felon) has recovered from a gunshot. She was working for several days with one arm in a sling, which did not make the service noticeably worse. The newest waitress has decided on the R & R diner as a logical place to be after a suicide attempt and some time in a convent. The more one sees of the place, the more sense this makes. What can one say about the food? One of the more presentable customers has said ``They've got a cherry pie that will kill you,'' and your reporter has to agree. ****************************************************************** The Great Northern has always been the reliable place to eat. There have been some management shakeups which have had an impact, but attempts at improvement are underway. Weekly wine tastings have started recently, and we understand a team of hotel management experts will be coming from England to add a touch of class. ****************************************************************** One of the few noteworthy delicacies, roast Pine Weasel, is no longer available in Twin Peaks due to an ill-founded environmental crusade. However, One-Eyed Jacks (recently reopened), a short drive into Canada, has a well-earned reputation to catering to the discerning appetite with a minimum of inhibition.