Subject: The Twin Peaks Finale Timeline/Commentary (part 5/5) From: jgp@zodmate.Rational.COM (Jim Pellmann) Date: 1992-08-27, 14:25 Newsgroups: alt.tv.twin-peaks,rec.arts.tv [Start of File 5 of 5] <----------------------------------cut here----------------------------------> ============================================================================== *** Humor ============================================================================== Global Television [in Canada], in uplinking the show on Sunday, followed the program with the usual title screen indicating the feed was over, with the added words at the bottom: By the way, "How's Annie?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "How's Annie?" "Oh, she's OK, just a mild case of Frost bite..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > >After Coop entered, oh, about the eight curtained room, I kept hoping his > >Eagle Scout training would kick in, and he'd make a map of the place. "You are in a twisty maze of red-curtained rooms, all alike." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ When I saw this cat, everything became clear to me. All along, we've been getting this whole Black Lodge thing wrong. It's not the Black Lodge, it's the Black *Lounge*! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q: What did the Dalai Lama say to the hot dog salesman? A: Make me one with everything. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > >(Let's start thinking of titles for those movies, y'all.) Twin Peaks: The Motion Picture Twin Peaks II: The Wrath of Bob Twin Peaks III: The Search for Coop (I couldn't resist.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Favorite line: Audrey (Recently De-flowered): It's only been a day. I hope it doesn't hurt this much in a week. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Audrey (Recently De-flowered): It's only been a day. I hope it doesn't > > hurt this much in a week. This is the most twisted thing I've read all day. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Perhaps the mark the major and the log lady have is due to facing the > > black lodge and NOT getting corrupted....If so, perhaps he made it to > > the white lodge... > > Probably the giant is actually the doorman for the White lodge and if you pass the test, he will stamp your hand (neck or whatever) as you leave so you can get back in later ... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "We're here in front of world-famous Maurice's Cafe and Deli in downtown Pittsburg. Today, we've replaced the fine coffee they usually serve with dark, sparkling Black Lodge Coffee. Let's see what people think." "Black Lodge Coffee? I can't believe it! It tastes so... so...so...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" "Coffee? Coffee. Coffee! Coffee." "Oh! Is that why it's so good? It certainly is a step up from Maurice's usual General Foods International Coffee crap!" "Who's the midget?" "Well, that proves it folks. Black Lodge Coffee - fine enough to be served in the world's (or at least Pittsburg's) finest restaurants." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You say you didn't like how Twin Peaks ended? There's a very simple explanation. Lynch and Frost weren't involved with it. It was their Black Lodge doppelgangers. Repeat after me (in a nasal voice): How's Twin Peaks? How's Twin Peaks? How's Twin Peaks? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > APPLICANTS BEARING LOVE OR FEAR, PROCEED DOWN CORRIDOR > > APPLICANTS BEARING OIL AND ALL OTHERS USE SIDE ENTRANCE ;-) "The White Lodge is for Loading and Unloading..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Subject: Coop == Mario? So when is the release of the BL/WL/Red Room video game? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Good thing he didn't have to floss! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Some TV network person out there may be interested in a more long term commitment to loyal older TV viewers and to the upcoming generations of viewers. For example, one might envision a future Saturday morning cartoon feature with voices provided by the actual voices of the original series. A possible finale for one of these hypothetical weekly shows which might be called: "Fugitive Twins Reach Their Peaks in Kung Fu Course" Opening cartoon: David Carradine's character (Caine) appears very suddenly in a clearing -- seemingly emerging feet first and reclaims the wind instrument from WE. Quietly and nonviolently Caine explains the deeper, more meditative applications of such devices in and "Easterly" way -- WE occasionally 'egging' him on. With the wooden instrument in hand cartoon character Caine turns to the camera and says "go figure" and at this point he transforms into a (you guessed it) -- grasshopper. Before it can achieve 'one good leap for a grasshopper' our Caine/Hopper-guy is engulfed fast-flying-swooping blurry creature which is eventually seen more clearly to be (you guessed it again) an EMPEROR OWL. This OWL is what is seems, and it begins to fly away leaving no one, except itself, with a bad taste in its oral cavity. The OWL thinking to itself but out loud so we and others can hear the message through the doppler effect (or is that doppelganger?): "Yuk. Pah-toohey! I wonder what that grasshopper had in his backpack? Yuk." The OWL can no longer tolerate the bad taste of this morsel and he "upchucks" the half- chewed grasshopper out of his oral cavity onto none other than -- BOB (maybe you didn't guess this one). Add this would be tobacco wad hits BOB right in the kisser! Bob Barks. "WOW, WOW, WOW!" (fooled you?). He then wipes the partially regurgitated matter from his face so as to better reflect on these events. Suddenly, he turns from his mirror and spots a seemingly innocent figure running through a red room and screams "backwards or in reverse- order pig-latin" -- "There goes Kimball!" Dr. Richard Kimball stops, cups his mouth with his hands and yells "Stop you OAM"! Not very loud though. Maybe he would do better with a (you guessed it!) MIKE. Go to commercial break and sell the kids some baseball cards. Back from break. Scenes from next week -- Nadine in China at the monastery trying rice paper drape technique. Norma hires Kimball to clean up the RR (replacement for Hank). Cooper and the rest of the local law enforcement crowd run into Caine on their way to the TP sheriff's office. Caine is loudly trying to explain his innocence to (you guessed it!) Gordon. And like that. ============================================================================== *** Movie ============================================================================== Great news for David Lynch and Twin Peaks Fans!!!! David Lynch called me on the telephone on Friday, and he relayed to me that a Twin Peaks movie WILL BE his NEXT project. (whether or not he is working on Ronnie Rocket now is something that I don't know.) The movie will cover the Theresa Banks murder and the final days of Laura Palmer. The title will be 'Fire Walk With Me.' He did not tell me this in confidence, so I am sure that it is not a secret. :^) He said, and I quote, 'It's gonna be cool.' PS I am sure that Kyle MacLachlan will be in it...if you remember correctly, he investigated Theresa Banks murder. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Let's hope the writers are REALLY CLEVER. A well-written prequel can easily resolve questions in the original series. The viewer can be places and learn things that remain unknown to the other characters, even in the original series. For example, we may see how Josie got into double dealing, and perhaps something that happened in her past that foreshadows her timely end, wrapped in plywood. We may hear the giant's voice come out of Margaret's log. BOB may impart some crucial Lodge secrets to Laura in an effort to entire her to let him in. He may describe previously unknown portions of the Caroline affair to her, or let slip something about his plans for Windom Earl. It Can Be Done, folks! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------